So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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