I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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