i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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