Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
