If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
