end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Randomize
