I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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