Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
