I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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