idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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