Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
