she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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