Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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