Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
