Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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