i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
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