Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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