I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
try to milk me bitch
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