got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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