Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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