dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
