You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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