watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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