No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize