She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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