it's not cheating when I paid for it
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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