After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
