jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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