Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
