that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
