This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
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