after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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