But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
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