Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
