dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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