Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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