i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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