It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
