Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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