i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Randomize
