google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
