In the future we'll all be gay
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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