3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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