I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
