How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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