that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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