Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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