Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
