she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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