i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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