Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
