hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
