it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
