I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
