and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
