The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
