you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
