take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
