i wish peter jackson would direct porn
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
wow bdsm is so cute
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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