Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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