belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
