remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Randomize
