i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
