Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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