we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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