So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
