he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
