i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
How does it feel to date your dad?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
