have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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